How I am

I've decided to write down details of what's happening. Perhaps one day they will all go into a biography. Perhaps it will either show strength of character or the weakness of cowardice. Time will tell.

It's hard to turn my neck. It seems to get harder to look left or right now. I read that I am supposed to be expecting this. And some exercises would help.

I can't sit or stand for too long. Sitting in one position or lying down cannot be for more than a few minutes. The word for it is uncomfortable. It isn't like having sharp pains in my back. In fact it's like I have insects running around in one spot and no scratching can relieve the itch.

My left shoulder sometimes twitch, like it's creating a hole. And my fingers in my left hand seem to lock up and the tips are numb.

I don't know what's ahead for me. Can I reverse this? How can I travel...can I travel? Do I have enough saved for what could be costly to rehabilitate?

I don't know. I do know it is important to maintain my dignity, and not seek pity. It is important to keep spreading the message that life is short. Too short for pain, fear, hate.

One life to live. Just one. I hope I will live it well.